I’m the butterfly–
gorgeous creature in your palm
vast canvas of life
Now that you all know I am staying home, I have decided to embrace it for the moment until of course God change the course of my life. By embracing I mean totally and wholly giving myself to my role as a wife and a mother. This means totally leaving the past behind no matter how hurting and how I missed my work.
Just yesterday, my mother’s package arrived from Saudi. These are big box of groceries, a drum of clothes, shoes and bags and another box of curtains, pillow covers and bed sheets. It arrived at around 8:30 am just when we are about to go to school to get my kid’s report cards.
I am so very grateful with all these blessings. This comes right on time, just when we need them because my hubby has to start working again and we need supplies until he receive his first salary.
However, as I am unpacking all the clothes and bags, I can’t help but felt an ache inside me. Those clothes are meant for office, for a working mother. The shoes, the blazers, the very attractive bags suits a working woman I used to be. That made me teary eyed.
Now that I am staying home, where would I wear those stuff? Oh, how I wish I could still work one of this day or that I am able to wear them when my personal dream of becoming a business owner come true. Sigh!
I kept all those clothes to my overloaded closet. Put aside the shoes and began to focus my attention to a much important role that awaits me for the moment. Well yeah, God has put me back home and that means I do have a mission to do here.
I have to be grateful that God is giving me a chance again to do my very first responsibility and that is to be a wife and a mother. Here are the four essential things I will be focusing from this day on. I hope these will help you start a stay-at-home life without the itch of boring unfulfilled life common for those who are staying home.
My hope is for you to change your perspective. To change your views about being a stay-at-home woman. To give up those myths that surrounds it and ultimately come out as a well-rounded woman full of fulfillment and positive principles.
#1. Support, appreciate, and respect your husband.
That’s the first important thing that I am working on. When I give-up my job, I told myself that I should do it anyway to give way to my husband’s capacity to provide. He has to find again the self-fulfillment of providing for his family. He lost that when I started earning especially when I earned much greater than what he can earn.
I have seen a tremendous change in him that time. That could be because of bruised pride I have inflicted on him. I know those who are anti-feminist will raise their brows about this but I’m sorry, I need to follow what God is telling me this time.
I admit that when I am working, I used to nag him, belittle him and dominate him. I admit, I compared him to another man I found more responsible in the office. Our intimate moments suffered as well because I am so tired working. I felt he does not deserve that after all.
I admit, at the back of my mind, I am blaming him for not being able to provide us all that we hope to have. That silent blames happened every time I found my work difficult or after my inconsiderate boss had scolded me. I have to cry in those moments and that even more deteriorate the love and respect I have for my husband.
Mean it or not, working wives feel that in some way or another, right? They just ignore this feelings because the desire of earning more is greater than their relationships. There is no wonder that a lot of marriages broke for the very reason that we are more inclined to do men’s role to prove that we can survive on our own. It is like always preparing our selves to impending separation.
Thanks God that I realized this. It took me two years of working and 13 years of marriage to realize that relationship will strive only if we know how to respect one’s given responsibility. If we women can only put down our pride under the leadership of our husbands, if we can only pretend that we are not as intelligent as them and if we only know how to live a frugal life in order to live within his salary… so much of broken marriages had been avoided.
More than ever, I am much determined now to serve my husband as I am serving the Lord. The Jennifer who was once an arrogant wife, who always want to prove to the world that she can stand on her own and is strong and intelligent enough to provide for her children is now long gone! As you bid her goodbye, join the new Jennifer whom God has given a second chance to live her life again.
It pays to realize that if we are able to intentionally make efforts to have our relationship work, we will have the biggest self-fulfillment of all. This is far greater from what we will gain by working. And how are we to do that again? Follow God’s designed role. Be a helpmate. Support, respect and appreciate your husband. There’s no more and no less for that.
#2. Support, teach and guide your children.
As part of our responsibility as a stay-at-home women, raising God-fearing, obedient and successful children can give us the self-fulfillment we will seldom have if we are working.
I can attest to you that even if you are able to provide your children all the material things they ever wanted, you will never be truly satisfied if your children will end-up irresponsible, unruly and lost.
My parents were all able to provide the things we want but we longed to be with them all our lives.
We who are staying home has the power to mold our children and provide them all the time and attention they need in order to support them spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
If we will use this time and chance to build our children up, we will always feel fulfilled and grateful that we do not have to envy other mothers who are working.
Gosh! I do know the feeling of being self-fulfilled. I do know how it is to feel proud that I am able to give my children what they want, bring them to places other children aren’t able to go and provide them the things their classmates can’t afford. Oh, how I wish I am able to do both–working and parenting them. Unfortunately, I can only do one thing at a time. God understand that the way He let me put down my work to be focused on my children’s more important needs.
#3. Manage the house.
If there is one thing that will give you daily and constant self-fulfillment, it is in being the queen of an organize, clean and beautiful home your husband and children would love to go home after the end of their hard working and studying days.
It is your responsibility now and a perfect responsibility to keep you busy every single day.
Right now, I am just starting to put everything in place and keep my house tidy. I am devising a plan on how I can tackle this big challenge. Don’t worry, I will make a blog post on how I will do that.
Just an introduction, I will be starting from scratch as a non-minimalist geek. I am a hoarder, and from that I will keep you inform on how I improve so far.
#4. Do not neglect yourself.
Lastly, to find self-fulfillment you must NOT neglect your self. I commit to this since I am not that self-conscious. Most of the times, I am comfortable simply to be me. Unfortunately, that’s an ugly slovenly looking me.
I don’t want to stay that way. My mother who saw my last picture told me I look uglier and fattier nowadays. Son of a biscuit! So what I did is to download a hundred Zumba dances that I am dancing MWF. I will make another post for that. Suffice it to say that I am exercising now, oh yeah!
Please don’t ask me to have my diet because mom’s package includes boxes of Snickers. I’ll have to help my kids eat them all first, okay?
Well, you may visit this exceptional post to read my tips on how to be beautiful at home all the time.
That’s it. If you will remember these tips to start your life as stay-at-home or if you can instill these in your being, you will never fell unfulfilled again, ever!