Posted in Haiku, Stay-at-home

5 reasons why I should still be a stay at home mom even when we barely afford it

a raven soaring on the wind

consider the ravens

you are valuable than they

you’ll be provided

Should I still be a stay at home mom despite of our financial situation? That is the question I have to ask myself after receiving a small amount from my husband this week.

He does not even make it to 5K – our sufficient weekly budget to live better here in the City. I sighed, knowing that I can make better than this if I am the one who’s working.

Will this be the end of my martyrdom? Would I choose to work now?

I became so careful not to hurt his feeling else, I can disappoint him again. I should be more accepting and more supportive this time. I know he needs a wife who believes that he can carry his family through even in tough times. I should be that kind of wife.

I am able to pay our bills with the exact amount that He gave me however, there’s nothing left for our food allowance. It’s a good thing I saved a bit from his salary last week and from the remains of my salary before I leave my job.

I know this sounds impractical to most of you but at this present circumstance, I vowed I should still be a stay at home mom for the following reasons:

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#1. My kids need a good homemaker.

I love here in the house, to be with my children and to work at home. I love to make sure we have a clean and organize house. I love to teach my children how to clean the house, to keep their things and toys properly, to wash the dishes and to cook. These are the things that they don’t have when I am working.

They used to live in an untidy house free from motherly touch. They go to school wearing clothes I forgot to iron or dirty jogging pants with stains not washed properly by their Dad. They don’t eat on time, too because Dad forgot to cook when he was tired from his work as a tricycle driver. I once saw Little Boy go to school with his ears and fingernails dirty. I can’t blame Dad for this because this is my responsibility.

I used to think that because I am working I should be spared from my household chores. The truth is I’m not. Even if we work, we still need to do our parts in the house.

I can honestly admit I cannot be both a working woman and a homemaker at once so I have to choose. I chose the things they most need (time, attention, care). These are far important than material things.

#2. They need me to support them in school.

With that I am not referring to material support. After having our orientation today in my Big Boy’s school, I’ve never been so convince that I need to guide my children. Ms. L said that there are so many children today that were lost because their parents can’t give them proper guidance, either they don’t care or they are busy working. She reiterated that our kids’ behavior and how they appear in manners and in cleanliness reflects to their parents. I cannot agree more.

I think one parent is enough to work away, in our case it’s my husband. The other one, preferably the wife (me), must stay (and work from home if possible) to properly guide her children.

Big Boy asked me a new pair of shoes and I honestly told him that at this point this is not possible because I no longer work. However, he has two shoes in the house that’s a little big to him. One came for free from his Elementary School. The other one was purchased by his grandfather. Maybe he should use them first until I am able to save for a new one.

This time, we ought to look for what are really important, new shoes or his studies?Thankfully, he understands.

In preparation to their incoming school days, I told my husband that since his salary is not stable, I will prioritize to buy my kids things in school once he received a much higher commission. I may not buy everything in one go, though since we still have the whole month of May to prepare.

stay at home mom kissing her baby on the forehead

#3. To show them that I am taking good care of my relationship with their Dad.

With that I meant I want to show them that I am supporting and accepting their Dad’s capability of supporting our family. I want to restore his self-fulfillment that I felt he lost when I started working. I want to encourage him this way and I want my children to respect him for being a good provider that he is. He may not give us a large sum of money now but still, what he is giving us is good enough. I know if I’ll become more supportive he’ll do his best to provide more in the coming days. You can read my post about acceptance here.

This part is hard to do when I am working. Our relationship is the first to suffer during those times. I know that if there is something that we, parents can do to our children, it is by taking care of our relationships with their fathers. After all, a large amount of salary cannot compensate with the broken homes, right? This has a destructive implication in the lives of our children.

#4. To show them that even at home I am still fulfilled doing what I love.

I am not a slothful at home. I spend some of my time writing my blog posts here and making an e-book. I also have time for reading, which is essential to writing. I love to do this while I am with my children so I am able to look after them. They in turn, could see that I am still working to realize my personal dream.

This is the privilege of being a stay at home. You’ll have time for your passions. You can focus on your personal dreams early in life. If you are lucky enough you will be able to build possible source of income out of what you love doing. You can read my post for the reason why I leave my job.

This is a great source of self-fulfillment for me. Having plenty of time to hone my skills made my kids see that I am okay at home. I am still striving and never let the boring times kill my zest for life.

Since I am complete and fulfilled, crankiness and irritability caused by having nothing to do have never become an issue for me. Happiness, which is essential for my growing kids becomes a priority in the house.

#5. To be able to teach them the value of frugality.

This is maybe true that we return again from having just enough money to survive every day like we used to before we go here in Manila. But having just enough is a great opportunity for me to teach my kids the value of frugality.

Frugality plays an important part in our lives ever since we started a family. It has become the reason why we’re able to be where are we right now. This only change when I earned a little bigger and be able to splurge to things we are not able to buy before.

But now, we are back to stretching money from my husband’s commission. He’s now a hauler’s truck driver. I need to be strict with finances and make sure that no family member will throw money away for non-essentials from now on. I’m up to disciplining my children as well as myself into a proper spending habits.

This is a challenge especially that we are here in the City where life is hard and the cost of living is far greater than when we’re there in the province. Actually, I am into experimentation on how we can survive through proper budgeting and wise spending. Here are some of the things I am implementing right now:

  • We stay in the house to avoid expenses.
  • We avoid the mall.
  • We limit eating out as far as necessary.
  • I have created a budget and also implementing an envelope system. I upgraded this into a wallet system.
  • I disciplined myself to make sure there is no unnecessary spending. I am tracing every single penny.
  • We use things until it becomes too old and broken.
  • We avoid buying new.
  • We buy only used clothes.
  • We cook just enough.
  • Any surplus money goes directly to savings.
  • And more…

Yes, I love challenge, I’d like to challenge myself to live a frugal life again and see how this can help us extend our money to the fullest. There are so many tips on the internet that teaches us how to be frugal. I don’t want to regurgitate them all here so let me give you the three of what I had previously read that I found helpful:

6 Ways To Be A Stay At Home Mom And Survive On One Income

Staying at Home with Your Kids When You Can Barely Afford It

How To Budget On One Income: Succeeding As A Single Income Family

I should still be a Stay at Home Mom as long as we are still eating three times a day and as long as I have a choice. I cannot imagine life away from the house and although I love working, too (I am a dedicated and hardworking woman before), I would still love to do it in my own home without a boss now.

I am not closing my door to the possibility of working again in the office. That might happen. But for now let me savor the moment of how it is to live the simple kind of life I’d like. I don’t know what might tomorrow bring but today, I can say that being a stay at home mom means living a life in faith and anticipation of grace and provision.

Being a stay at home mom is a choice. A hard choice for those who have just enough or no enough income. But if this is what God wants us to do then, we can rest assured that He will provide to make it possible.

Why I should be a stay at home mum? Have you asked yourself of that? Other than what I have stated above, do you have other reasons why you stay at home? Can you share them with us on the comments so we can learn from you, too?

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Author:

I am Jennifer, a Christian from the Philippines, a mother of two young boys, a wife, a lover of Jesus, a blogger, a writer, a self-made artist, a journaler, a coffee & doodles lover, and sometimes a poet by heart. Hey there, friend! I'm so thrilled you stopped by! I love working to be a purposeful stay-at-home mom and I wish to help others do the same. Welcome here!

2 thoughts on “5 reasons why I should still be a stay at home mom even when we barely afford it

  1. I agree that staying in home may be necessary for you .
    But you see it can also be an excuse to stay home.
    I’m not that big to give you an opinion
    I’m just 19
    Soo this type of situation happened in my mom’s life years ago.
    She got married too soon without completing her education and the economic conditions became worse.
    Soo then she took a course of a beautician and soon opened her salon .
    And now currently we have to branches in total .
    And my mom earns thrice what my dad earns.
    If you got offended ,I’m extremely sorry, I’m not an adult pls forgive me
    Thanks have a nice day

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Suyash, I am not offended. Actually that gives me an idea. Your mom like my mom is a beautician too when we were young and her parlor is located just inside our house. This is good, having business at home is what I like to do, too and that you might overlooked in my post. Anyway, thank you for having you here considering your age, I never thought I might have a reader like you here but you are very much welcome! I like that you are very open with your opinion. Keep it up.

      Liked by 1 person

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